I was just poking my finger into the giant bag of humbugs I keep in the house at this time of year, when the lovely Catherine Cavendish went and awarded me this awfully bright, shiny, sunny and horribly fairyish award.
I mean, thanks and all that, Cat, very nice of you, but can you see THAT hanging on my wall? No? Didn’t think so. I shall have to do something with it.
Anyway, I don’t even get paid for having that on my site, I have to tell you seven facts that you don’t already know about me. As I’ve done this kind of thing before this will not be easy. Now, let’s see…
- I wanted to be an airline pilot: When I said this at a careers meeting at school the teacher laughed so much he had to sit down. When he recovered he gave me some leaflets on being a teacher, doctor, dentist, nurse… I didn’t become a pilot – nor any of those suggestions either.
- I did, however, have flying lessons. On my very first flight the wind blew a gale just after take off and we had to hurry back to terra firma. I have never forgotten the way that light plane was tossed about by nature.
- I was once run over by a wheelbarrow full of tools. It chased me down a pontoon and went right over the top of me. I almost went into the Solent.
- A girlfriend once told me she might be pregnant – at the top of the Statue of Liberty. I didn’t throw her or myself off, which is just as well as she wasn’t.
- I had my tonsils removed when I was thirty-eight years old. I’m glad I did because I was ill one week out of four, but it hurt like watching X Factor.
- I am convinced that the more drinkable the wine, the thicker the bottle.
- I have successfully completed my training to be a Humanist Funeral Celebrant and am looking forward to getting the formalities out of the way so I can begin using my new skills.
And now I have to nominate four people for this award:
Hmmm, I think I’ve figured out how to improve this…
Humanist Funerals 
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